Planet Mad

Dear reader, I have a confession to make...

Today, in cold blood, I uttered not one but many of those teacher phrases - you know the type: "It's your time you're wasting, not mine," "The bell is for me, not for you". What made it worse was the fact that they were part of an entire tirade of teacher-speak, going summat like this:

Me: So, why haven't you done this piece of work?
Him: Well - I had English coursework and it's taken all of my time.
Me: I gave you a week in which to do this exam question. Are you telling me that you haven't been able to find 40 minutes in an entire week?
Him: My English has been on-going because we keep getting drafts given back to us and so I thought it should be a high priority - it's due in today.
Me: And? How long have you had to do this coursework in?
Him: [squirming slightly] I can't remember...
Me: More than a week?
Him: [squirming a bit more] Well, yes... but I've spent all my time working on it
Me: So - you're telling me that you've spent 10 hours of prep time, plus eight free lessons, plus all your free time in afternoons and at the weekend working flat-out on your English?
Him: [looking slightly embarrassed by now] Eurm...
Me: I mark your work so you get feedback on your performance, in preparation for the exams this term. I'd like to remind you that I have an A level in Economics. And I have a degree in Economics. In fact, I also have a post-graduate qualification in this subject. It's you who's going to be sitting the AS exam this summer, not me. I don't need to. This means that YOU are the person who needs to be working now.

Youch. What a bitch.