Planet Mad

I woke this morning and felt like I was swimming uphill through treacle. I rolled over and tried to get back to sleep but my body was convinced that at 8.30am on a Friday morning I should be up, dressed and doing last-minute photocopying for lesson one. I'm on holiday, body - have you not realised that?! Here's hoping that tomorrow's lie-in goes a bit better!!

The task for today was shopping. More specifically, shopping for a smart outfit to wear for a couple of weddings and school's speech day. I hate clothes shopping. With a passion. Clothes are never designed for a Mad-shaped body, and nothing fits and nothing looks good. It doesn't help that I'm so indecisive I over-compensate and end up buying the first item that vaguely fits, even if it looks slightly odd. This explains why my wardrobe contains nothing but jeans and T-shirts, because you can't really go wrong with them and it makes shopping very easy. The problem comes with weddings.

Since being old enough to choose my own clothes, I've been to two weddings For the first, I bought the entire outfit in 75 minutes on the way to the wedding: dress, cardigan, bra, socks, tights, necklace *and* blue suede docs. Quick, painless and - one short stop in a motorway service station later - very fetching. For the second wedding, I was given permission by the bride to wear docs, so I borrowed a rug from a friend, bought a new top, and created another unconventional outfit. Again, relatively simple and not requiring too much in the way of trawling round shops. The two impending weddings are different. They are not weddings of my friends (who can be relied upon to make allowances for my appalling taste in clothes) but of family and family friends. This means smart clothes, which in turn, means shopping, stress and horrible moments of indecision. Bleurgh.

Today, though, I was dragged round the streets of the bustling metropolis of Derby and now - after trying on 4 items - I am the proud owner of a dress. What's more, it's a dress made from a pink fabric. And it fits! This is the second time in my life that I have bought pink clothes, although I have created some with careless washing! I was all prepared to whip out the docs again but was persuaded otherwise, so now I also have shoes that match - I didn't even realise that it was possible for shoes *not* to match. You live and learn. If only all shopping were so easy...